This write up deals with addressing when is a good time to get the police involved in handling an oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) child’s violent outburst.

While involving the police doesn’t really help very much when you’re child is quite young, it does seem to have the desired effects when it comes to dealing with violent child behavior in older kids and teenagers.

A number of parents are hesitant in approaching the police and for a number of reasons. The main reason, though, remains to be the number of stories doing rounds about situations going out of hand when the police are involved, most of which are exaggerated or untrue anyway.

Some parents get the impression that their children could be unforgiving. Some are afraid of losing them, and some others think they might go away. A majority of the time, these fears are unjustifiable.

The police, on the whole, try and do their best in helping you, and spoiling the future of your child is not their aim.

The point being, at times it becomes necessary for a parent to involve the police in dealing with their child and his violent ODD child behavior.

This is how you should take it forward; if your ODD child is turning violent or abusive, if he is destroying any kind of property, and if you think you can no longer handle the situation; then the police should already be on the way, or called immediately.

This is where the situation is at a point where the child refuses to acknowledge the authority that his parents command. This is the point where involving the police can help because their voice will have to be heard.

Any form of abuse and destruction should not be let off easily. If a child indulges in violence and is not corrected in a timely manner, possibilities of him having a life linked to crime definitely increase.

Upon turning eighteen and becoming an adult legally, unlawful things that a person does can land him in serious trouble.

Parenting a violent child is tough. You should know that the authorities that get involved are not out for your child’s blood and actually try to help.

Besides trying to help your child, they also try and help you get in control again. They can also try and help financially, and help get all the support systems working.

But this changes when the child celebrates his eighteenth birthday. Why? Because the child then ceases to be a child and is tried through the penal system that serves adults.

This makes it important to try and seek help as early as possible, especially if your child is taking a turn for the worse, causing destruction, indulging in violent activities, or getting involved in uncompromising situations.

Help should be given long before your child’s eighteenth birthday.

The main reason behind this is that after that point, any unlawful activity can come with stern punishments. Once on this path, a lifelong battle with crime cannot be ruled out, especially if help doesn’t come in the formative years.

Often times, a run in with the police when your child is in his early teen years will be the only thing that will convince him to straighten out. And yes, in these cases, help can be the police.

In a number of scenarios, police involvement becomes necessary. The police, I’ll have you know, do try helping.

If you are wary that things might take an ugly turn and get out of your control… thinking about involving the police at an earlier stage (when the situation is still under control) is definitely recommended. This should be on your parenting agenda. Also, getting in touch with local juvenile organizations can also be very helpful.

If you think you might need police involvement, planning it in advance is always better than waiting for an ‘emergency’ situation to erupt. You can always try and foresee any violent child behavior and plan accordingly.

Also, if you’re raising an ODD child, trying to keep a check on the future is a good idea. Knowing what alternatives can be followed is also good.

Parenting a violent child becomes a bit easier when you know in the back of your mind that the police can serve as a back up. Just the confidence that comes with this knowledge can actually avoid police involvement at times.

The most important thing that you can do to get your child to comply with your wishes is to build up your relationship.

Children have a natural desire to please their parents.  This is true when they are young and it is also true when they become teenagers. Even adults have a need and desire to gain approval from their parents.

You can use what nature has given you as a way to help your child to do what you ask.

Now, if children want so much to have their parents’ approval, why is it that so many of them just won’t listen?

The reason is that other factors get in the way. For an ODD or difficult child probably the biggest reason they defy adults is that they resent the subordination they feel toward the adult. They just don’t want to be dominated by anyone and they won’t take orders no matter how much sense it makes and even if it is for their own benefit.

For an ODD child or and ODD teen, the issue is who is in control, and almost everything else is secondary.

With such a child, getting them to obey is a major task. You can’t make them do anything. The more you try, the more they will fight you.

So how do you get such a child to listen to you?
You can’t force your ODD child to obey you. But you can get your ODD child to want to obey you.

You do this proactively, by developing and using your relationship.

Developing and strengthening a positive relationship with your child has numerous benefits:

• You will be happier
• Your child will be happier
• You will enjoy your time together much more
• You will reduce the amount of fighting and arguing
• Your child will be much less likely to get into serious trouble.

If you want to learn more about what you can do to help your ODD child or teen behave better, visit http://ccparenting.com There you will find the One Word that will help you to eliminate talking back and stay in control of any argument that you child has with you.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a childhood psychiatric disruptive behavior disorder.

ODD children typically are aggressive toward others.  They tend to intentionally bother and irritate those around them.  In addition, these children rebel against authority and will refuse to obey instructions for no particular reason.  Oppositional Defiant Disorder children cause a lot of problems for those around them and are particularly difficult for parents, teachers, and other adults whose position demands obedience and authority.

Oppositional defiant children have trouble taking responsibility for their actions.  Every problem, obstacle, or setback is always someone else’s fault.  These children are stubborn and continually test limits.  They frequently and unpredictably get angry, throw tantrums, and try the patience of those around them.  ODD children break rules and refuse to take direction, even early in childhood.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder children tend to be manipulative.  They are quite skilled at causing conflict all around them.  They are very good at pitting adults against each other.  Often an ODD child in the home will turn parent against parent, parents against teachers, and induce discord in those around them.

In short, ODD children:
• Easily lose their temper
• Constantly argue with adults
• Refuse to carry out requests
• Won’t obey rules
• Intentionally bother those around them
• Continually test limits and authority
• Refuse to accept responsibility for their own mistakes or misbehavior
• Are easily annoyed
• Frequently get angered, resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.
• Are mean when upset
• Take revenge when they feel wronged
• Throw temper tantrums even when older

There are a number of drug interventions that are used to treat ODD children.  The focus of these drugs is to treat the other conditions that often accompany Oppositional Defiant Disorder in the hope that the ODD will also improve.  However, to date, there is still no proven medical treatment that addresses Oppositional Defiant Disorder directly.

At this time, the primary way to treat Oppositional Defiant Disorder is through parent training programs.  These programs are extremely effective in improving defiant behavior and are the only effective way to deal directly with ODD.

The main problem with parent training programs is that they are extremely expensive.  Usually these programs are led by a psychologist or another mental health professional, last many months, and can carry a price tag of several thousands dollars.   However, parents who have the money and are willing to spend it, find that these programs do make a difference.

However, a new study now suggests that parents have a better option.

Recently, researchers at Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago tested three different ways of administering parent training programs.  The purpose of the study was to determine if a professionally directed parent training program was more effective than a self-administered home based program in treating Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).  They studied 117 parents who received either  psychologist led parent training, nurse led parent training, or a home based self-administered parent training program.

The results were quite significant.  Even one year after the study, all three groups of parents had significant improvement in their homes.  However, it didn’t matter which group the parents were in.  They all experienced about the same amount of improvement.  The only significant difference was in the length of time parents enrolled in the program.  Those who spend more time, got significantly better results.

What this study means for you is that you don’t need to shell out thousands of dollars to get the help you need for your ODD child.  You can get the same results in a much more cost effective way, by enrolling in an online program, such as How to Improve Your Child’s Behavior for children ages 2-12 or in How to Handle Your Difficult Defiant Teenager for children 12 and older.

The main thing is that you must use a program that is designed to give you step by step instructions.  It is important to note that this study did not show that just books on parenting help at all.

Anthony Kane, MD

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